Artists' Contemplative Retreat, Departure Day, 16 June 2016

Artists’ Contemplative Retreat, Departure Day, 16 June 2016, by Lisa Zuercher

Up early again, yet this time it was out of need to get the car packed and ready to go.

The sky was overcast as if mourning my impending departure. I strolled the property one last time searching for anything I could have missed. I bid my farewells to the squirrels, birds, trees and all those mystical beings making themselves known to me during my retreat.

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Overcast Morning at Mariandale. Photo credit, Lisa Zuercher 2016

As I took each step, squirrels scurried, birds sang sweetly, trees still standing tall and I thought, “Hmm, life goes on.” The life in and of this place shared with me a great many delicacies and are now readying themselves for the next group to arrive. I, in turn, was readying myself to take my learnings back to my everyday life.

And with that thought I felt a drop of rain, then two, then three – yes, I was being baptized by the gentle and cool rain. How fitting, as if sealing my experiences into my heart and soul, while at the same time cleansing the grounds in preparation for the group arriving this afternoon.

Transformation, renewal, rebirth.

At around 7:30am I took my body and soul indoors and sat in an armchair in the vestibule just beside the dining room. Our last group breakfast would take place at 8am and I wanted to jot down my thoughts. Mixed emotions tugged at my heartstrings as I moved my pen gently across my journal pages and I wished we had more time as community, here, now. Yet the cycle of life was at hand. Nothing remains as it is for time does not stand still for anyone. Growth occurred. Love shared. Friends made.

At 8am our group began to gather for our final breaking of the bread around the same table we sat at for every meal – the one closest to the food station. For our last retreat meal the chef prepared pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon, displayed a lovely platter of fresh fruit, bagels, bread, and English muffins. We ate, we laughed as always, shared stories, laughed some more and then the time came, 9am – our concluding prayer and meeting.

Off we walked slowly to the Garden Room (and as I type this now I am wondering if that is, in fact, the name of the room, but it sounds good to me) as if going to witness the Resurrection personally. And this was a resurrection of sorts – we were all rising up, rising up, leaving the old self behind and rising into the newness of beginnings, learnings, and life. Rose, our facilitator, opened up with music and prayer. Sharing personal journeys was next and then shared blessings. All very moving yet the most powerful and impactful moments for me were the shared blessings. This loving act between each artist, and now friend, brought tears to most eyes, including my own. At the conclusion of the blessings the room became silent, eerie almost. Who was going to walk out the door first?

I bid my farewells to all the lovely people with whom I was able to share each step, Rose, Sr. Peggie, Sr. Michael, Sr. Katie, John, Magie, Ulana, Cecilia and Zohra. I will bring home with me each shared story, the laughter, the tears, and remember the art, for this brought us together and bound us as community.

Back left to right: Sr. Katie, Lisa, John, Cecilia. Front left to right: Rose, Sr. Michael, Ulana, Sr. Peggie, Magie, Zohra. Photo credit, Sr. Katie, 2016.

And if you thought my messengers were through with me at this point you got another thing coming.

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One last look from car. Mariandale. Photo credit, Lisa Zuercher 2016.

I walked slowly to my car taking in all that just occurred at the closing. I put my hand on the car door handle and just before opening the door I took a deep breath, took one last look over the property, imprinted the beauty into my memory and then into the car I climbed. Engine on, foot off break and onto accelerator and I slowly made my way out of the car park. And as if to say, “Don’t forget about what we taught you,” a brown squirrel ran in front of the car and then two feet past this occurrence two crows were sitting on the roadway and three were just off to the side at the edge of the grass. They were here to remind me that transformation occurred and that I’d continue to transform through perseverance. I’d overcome obstacles. I’d continue to be keenly aware of the subtle shifts of energy taking place within myself. I’d experience freedom by continuing to make positive life choices. I should embrace my insights and, of course, I need have fun and be more playful. What a send-off.

Next stop, Brooklyn.

Artists' Contemplative Retreat, Day 6, 15 June 2016

Artists’ Contemplative Retreat, Day 6, 15 June 2016, by Lisa Zuercher

This is the last full day at the retreat house. My heart saddened as I am not ready to leave this place yet.

My day began even earlier than yesterday. At 4am my eyes popped open. I wanted to send the blog post for day five and I still needed to finish writing the piece and edit it. I jumped out of bed, took a shower and dressed. Then I opened my prayer book and Luke 8:16 welcomed me as the cobwebs began to clear from my brain. “No one who lights a lamp conceals it with a vessel or sets it under a bed; rather, he places it on a lap stand so that those who enter may see the light.” I was struck by the fact that I feel as if I can no longer be concealed and my light needs to shine. And with that, I ran down three flights of stairs so I could begin typing and posting.

I went for a walk after lunch. The day was pleasant; the sun warm and the wind gentle. I basked in the glory of being in a miraculous place where the trees speak my language, where faeries dance among the wooded area, and where totem animals offered their wisdom. As I walked up the hill to the wooded area I sensed the faeries – ever so playful, and I was delighted. I am on the right path. They let me know.

At 2pm the open house began. For two hours employees at the retreat center joined the artists in the work room and we shared what we created during the week. It was a bit awkward showing my website from a computer when most others were displaying paintings, mandalas and sculptures. I held my own though, explained my vision and handed out my information. It’s a start. I got very nice feedback.

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Stillness by the Hudson. Photo credit, Lisa Zuercher, 2016

The open house ended at 4pm and I found myself gravitating to the outdoors. The weather was too miraculous to remain indoors for one minute longer, and I wanted to see, hear and feel what messages would be delivered to me on my final day. I took my spot on a bench overlooking the Hudson and the stillness of the water was insatiable to me. The water reminding me that my thoughts need stilling as I walk through transformation of voice. As I sat in silence butterflies began scurrying about – a large black and yellow one and two little white ones. I practiced a few Reiki chants and sat with arms outstretched giving thanks as I took in everything. Oh, why does this have to come to an end?

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Now comes the interesting part – the black and yellow butterfly circled me twice. The spiritual meaning of butterfly is transformation, renewal, rebirth, lightness of heart and playfulness. And if Spirit thought I didn’t notice the butterfly, a squirrel was sent my way yet again. As I was gazing intently at the calm of the water and thinking about the butterfly and what took place this week, a squirrel seemed to appear out of thin air. I was startled. He looked at me and then walked away. I take this to mean that I should stop being startled by a new voice and persevere so that I can create my dreams. And the butterfly reminded me that transformation is taking place within me and around me and that the renewal of soul is bringing me to a rebirth of myself. Pretty amazing if you ask me.

And with all that learned, dinner eaten, group meeting and prayer completed, I packed bits and pieces into the car and stayed up too late typing this post.

Tomorrow morning I’ll get up early and bring the remaining items to the car. The group will meet for breakfast and one final meeting. Then back to Brooklyn for me. Will Brooklyn be able to handle the transformed and rebirthed me? We’ll see.

Artists' Contemplative Retreat, Day 5, 14 June 2016

Artists’ Contemplative Retreat, Day 5, 14 June 2016, by Lisa Zuercher

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Sunset Blanketing Mariandale. Photo credit, Lisa Zuercher, 2016.

Can another day be done? It’s 9:05pm and I am sitting in the artists’ work room. I, for some strange reason, decided to work here rather than my bedroom. I just came in from a walk. I thought it would be a nice idea to capture a picture of the sunset. Oh my, the bugs were ferocious and I swear they were dive bombing me, I feel like one is in my ear. So my sunset observing lasted all but ten minutes.

The day started out like the others. I was up very early again today, 5:00am or so. I showered, dressed and went to the work room. I figured I’d get a jump on the day, send the Daily Thought about giving thanks and complete writing the blog from day four. I am happy to report that I had no technical difficulties today – meaning technical difficulties with myself and my understanding of technology. Writing and editing took about 3 hours. Ah, the writer’s life… Breakfast and group prayer interrupted the process and before I could blink it was 11:30am. The storytelling around the meal table was quite fun, the group was animated and I found myself with a lighter heart after leaving the table.

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Afternoon Stroll at Mariandale. Photo credit, Lisa Zuercher, 2016.

After lunch I strolled along the property. Spirit was urging me to take it slow, concentrate on each step and listen to all that was being said in between. The mystical presence of faeries was prevalent today and the trees were quite vocal. Everywhere I looked sheer beauty rested upon my heart. The smile stretched across my lips caused my cheeks to hurt. For how long had I been smiling during this walk I wondered? What was going on in this place? All that talk from the group on days one and two about how special this place was, I hadn’t felt it or witnessed it until day three and with each step now it’s getting stronger.

So here I am on day four and the magic of the place is filling every cell of my body. It is reaching me energetically and communicating with me. The trees comforted me today and I knew I was being guided. Guided to open my heart as wide as the ocean and bare my soul so that the eternal life-energy shared by these trees was being absorbed by me. Their beautiful bodies rooted in the earth and majestic branches dancing up to the sky. Firm and flexible. Balanced.

Old Barn at Mariandale. Photo credit, Lisa Zuercher, 2016

As I walked across the expansive lawn toward the old barn enjoying all that spirit was whispering to me a dragonfly dove in front of me and flew around me. His color appeared to be golden. The wings shimmering from the sunlight. What a beauty. Instantly I knew another message was being placed before me and within me. The symbolism of dragonfly is change, adaptability, lightness of being, finding joy in life, connection with spirits and faerie realms and understanding the deeper meaning of life. Wow. Just moments before, the massage therapist texted me that she was stuck in traffic and didn’t know when she’d be able to start our appointment. I texted back that she could text me when she arrived to her studio and was ready to see me. After all I was only a ten minute drive away. She was delighted by that. Everything was good. Was dragonfly crossing my path confirmation about the message of adaptability and change or what? I’d say 100% yes.

The massage and energy work I received on day two of the retreat helped to open my energy fields and the deep tissue work began releasing kinks from my muscles and tendons. Pressure points touched unleashed blockages and I felt like I was floating on a cloud. At the massage session today the knots in my neck and back were removed after much care. I could feel the blockages melting and the negative energy flowing out of my body. Toward the end of the session I could sense a great deal of energy around my head when suddenly my third eye burst open and I saw a scrumptious giant ball of golden light, and then an eye appeared and it was staring at me stare at her. This energy center is known as an area of intuition and may lead to an inner wisdom if you let it. Seeing the eye of God see me reminded me that when you look into the eyes of God it is you that is reflected back. This is powerful and deep rooted in my journey. It was an answer to many questions.  

The squirrel totem also surfaced during the massage when I was asked to breathe into a point near my clavicle, where the therapist was pressing, and receive a gift. I was to imagine I was just handed a gift. I laughed at what it was. An ice cream cone. I don’t eat ice cream cones any longer, although diving into a vat of ice cream sounds divine at the moment. I couldn’t accept this cone. I laughed. The massage therapist asked me what the cone might mean to me. It reminded me of the delight of childhood, of being a kid, smiles and laughter. My parents would treat us to cones and as I’d balance my chocolate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles atop my sugar cone I’d have to, at some point, lick furiously to keep the ice cream from dripping down the cone, across my hands and ultimately onto my shirt. And the next challenge was to bite a hole in the bottom of the sugar cone and suck the ice cream through the hole before it had a chance to drip out. Deliriously brilliant memories. So this ice cream cone message was to bring playfulness into my life, continue to persevere and not to let obstacles stop me. This was the second day this message was being brought to the forefront.

After the session I drove back to the retreat house and what do you know, a squirrel was waiting for me at the side door. I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn’t believe it. The little guy was just sitting, waiting. I got about 2 feet from him, he gazed at me, as if saying, “It’s about time you listen to what I have to say,” and then walked very slowly across the lane and onto the grass. I thanked him and went inside.

Mystical experiences appearing. God tickling my ribs. Laughter, peace, and the waltz continues.